The New Civil Rights Movement PT.1

When most of us think about the civil rights movement, we’re thinking about a specific chapter in that movement. The words “civil rights” appear next to names like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X so frequently, that it seems as if the movement for civil rights materialized in that era, around those leaders. Of course […]

Waking Up

As a general process, waking up makes no sense. It’s never that we’ve solved our way out of sleep and the day shows up because our fully alert selves are the final brush stroke it needs. No, we always seem to wake up in the middle of something that’s already going on. We never quite […]

Antenna, Santa Rosa (A play for the stage)

FADE IN: EXTERIOR: We see a sidewalk and a city street whose traffic is facing towards the audience. STAGE RIGHT: We see a wall which takes up roughly half the stage, behind which the interior of The Diorama will soon be visible to the audience. This wall is the brick facade of a bar named […]

The Freedom to Lie

So here’s the thing about the freedom of speech; it’s an easy win. It’s the first amendment, the one that even those assholes who can’t find Canada on a map can tell you they know. What’s left to say about it that we don’t already know? And even if we can find some nugget of […]

Big Bang. Better Bang.

Everybody knows about the big bang. As a thing that human beings have figured out, it’s probably the biggest: “Well that escalated quickly.” moment of all time. We were looking at the stars and we went: “That’s funny. It looks like everything is getting farther away.” And then somebody said: “Hey, if everything is getting […]

Your Mom Is An Irrational Number

Look, I can’t make everything about sex okay? I get it. You’d rather be masturbating. I didn’t invent the internet or your genitals so the fact that those two things seem to spend most of their time apart writing love notes to each other is not my problem. There are some things that have to […]

Time Flies When There’s a Hamster Having Fun in You

So I’m thinking about the development of life on Earth and how consciousness is basically a collection of time in a certain place. It’s the kind of thing that sounds right and sounds wrong at the same time. Because you hear it and go: “Well sure. I am the time it takes to be me. […]

The Great Kiln Collection Drive

If I have a talent for something, it seems like it’s pulling big ideas together out of long and layered thoughts. Go figure. Why not pottery? You can sell pots. This is bullshit. Must be nice. This is the one I’ve been working on. It’s a slippery little bugger. Basically I’ve been thinking about mirror […]

Kanye and Donald, Sitting in a Tree…

So let me start off by saying I’m a fan of Kanye West, or Jeezy or Je. If I could figure out what name he wants to be called by, I’d use that one, but since I’m more worried about you knowing who I’m talking about right now, we’ll stick with Kanye. Ever since he […]

I Ain’t Calling Her a Gold Digger…

Everybody knows what a gold digger is. We know it the way we know what a policeman or doctor is. A gold digger is basically a prostitute, but somehow less respectable, because at least a prostitute will give you a price list. The gold digger is a person who’s after all the same things the […]

Get Woke or Get Wedgied, Princess Fantastic’s Guide to British Universities

Do me a favor. Think about all the situations where you’d realistically find yourself saying the following words: “You know. I thought we were better than this. I really did. Are you gonna make me sit down and hold your hand through every single step of what’s going on here? Jesus Christ you are a […]